The Flying Mouse

Merton, an adventurous mouse, has always dreamt of one day flying. Although his mouse family does not approve of his flying hobby, he never gave up on his dream. Through the help of his brother and other fellow creatures, Merton might finally reach the sky!

Critic Evaluation

Cover Design Score: 8

Cover image represents a mouse in flight.

Book Blurb Score: 7

The blurb does reflect the story but more consistent use of tense would make it flow. 

Formatting Score: 3

I can only judge this on the mobi file that I received and the formatting is inconsistent, with line breaks, odd spacing and a few instances of different type size. 

On the title page the title appears as fhe (symbol for UK pound)!YingMouse

  •  a paragraph about the main characters sisters appears in a box with smaller type
  • later in the story there is another box with the words, " that                     contraption? Is" (this is where the snalleygaster appears).


Grammar & Spelling Score: 8

There was one sentence that didn't make sense:

"Nuttal and frantically fluttering Melinda followed them shortly."


Plot & Structure Score: 8

The plot is suitable for the age group and the story has the right amount of obstacles for the main character to overcome.

Character Development Score: 8

Merton is a fun character who doesn't give up easily and triumphs in the end with a little help from his friends. He is also kind as shown by his concern for his little brother.

Originality Score: 7

A sweet hero's journey, showing that with a little perservence and help, you really can achieve your goals.

Pacing Score: 8

The story moved along with just enough conflict to make it interesting.

Use of Language Score: 8

The language is clear and appropriate for the target audience.

Overall Readability Score: 7

The plot is well paced, there is just enough description and readers will empathise with Merton on his quest to fly.

Thank you for submitting your book to Storyteller Alley. I really enjoyed reading your book, and gave it high marks in every area except formatting. My guess is the formatting might have taken a hit in the conversion to mobi format. As I know the formattng issues will prevent it from being curatored, I am not pushing it up for further review at this time. If you have another version of the book, please feel free to contact us and I would be happy to re-evaluate.

Curator Evaluation

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