The Darkness of the Womb

A pregnant mother journeys into her unborn child's subconscious to save his life.

Marigold Haunt wanted nothing more in life than to get pregnant, and at the age of 49, she finally gets her wish. But inside her mind and body, chaos wreaks havoc, as her baby, who is the future messiah of the world, doesn’t want to be born. Meanwhile, Lords Imagination and Logic, who are constantly at war within the universal mind, are fighting over the future of the baby. Now, only Marigold can decide her child’s ultimate fate by journeying inside his subconscious and convincing him to want to live.

Genre

Dark Fantasy

Critic Evaluation

Cover Design Score: 7

The cover design is serviceable but a bit boring, as if certain ideas were put together but not in a coherent way,

Book Blurb Score: 7

The blurb offers a good sense of the story. But could be tighter to suggest danger, confusion and ambiguity.

Formatting Score: 9

Apart from some odd spacing in one section towards the end, the formatting is good. And this may only affect the PDF version.

Grammar & Spelling Score: 9

I found two grammar issues that slipped past the editor/proofreader:

It was as if her dowdy face and old age was desired here.
She bared down

Plot & Structure Score: 9

The structure worked for me: I liked being introduced to the 'inner world' then taken back to the outer world to anchor the story. When we moved into the inner world -- the major part -- it was good to have segments from the outer world interspersed and the coda was very satisfying.

Character Development Score: 9

Marigold and Jeff are likable, flawed characters weighed down by life; they are very relatable.
Two scenes were particularly well rendered: Marigold's descent into apparent madness -- where she's hearing the voice and seeing her mother; and Jeff's dismissal from his job.
Their love for each other and for their child shone through, making their final sacrifices believable.

Originality Score: 10

Never read anything like this. Wasn't sure where it was going.

Pacing Score: 9

As mentioned above, the way the author gradually took us from the reality of the outer world into the confusion of the inner world carried the story along and never jarred. 

Use of Language Score: 9

The use of all senses created an understandable inner world. Color and the sense of color were well-used: "...he knew these were emotions, and sadness was the most distinguishable. It was a cold blue color. It kept drifting away from him like a receding tide."
In the outer world, the author made me feel the tiredness, hopelessness, and lack of choice that permeated Jeff's life. 

Overall Readability Score: 9

There was very little here that was unnecessary. The ambiguous nature of the plot kept me hooked, and guessing, from beginning to end.

This book received a critic's score of 87 out of 100 possible points.

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Curator Evaluation

This book was curated by StorytellerAlley

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